By Gene Degen

How to create the kind of principals you want

Sounds like a title for the next self-help book.  However, it is true that we have a role in co-creating our relationships with people, including our supervisors, and we have some power to bring out the best in all the people we work with.  Here are a few ideas that may be of help:

• Have reasonable expectations of your Principal’s competence.  Try to be understanding about some inevitable weaknesses, and recognize that differences in beliefs and values are also inevitable.
• To become a better leader, your principal needs to be constantly learning and growing.  Just like your students (and you), she/he will learn best with support, feedback, suggestions, and challenge when it’s called for.  There is a saying that ‘we get the leaders we deserve.’ 
• Express appreciation frequently for good efforts.  Feeling appreciated brings out the best in all of us, and it also makes it easier to hear complaints without being defensive.  Further, it increases the chances of your efforts being appreciated in turn.
• Do speak up about things that are important to you.  It is much better to be assertive than to become passive-aggressive, that is to go along with things, but to be showing your displeasure in indirect ways.  Unassertive teachers may find they become seen as cynical, unsupportive, or irritable. 
• Similarly, do realize that your feelings towards the principal probably show in your body language and facial expression.  That’s how we do most of our communicating.  It’s better to deal with a problem and try to clear the air.
• Do be clear that being assertive means being respectful of both yourself and the principal.  Challenging him/her rudely in a staff meeting is not assertive, it is aggressive (and can be career suicide).  Pick your time, and plan how you will deliver your message in a non-critical way.  That way, he/she will be less likely to be defensive, and will be better able to learn from your ideas.
• Do challenge ideas, but be very cautious about challenging his/her power.  That spells relationship disaster with many leaders.  Consult a Staff Officer at MTS if you have a concern that may require challenging a principal’s power.
• Notice how you may be recreating the kind of relationship you had with one of your parents – we all do this.  It takes work to change patterns and to actually be the kind of adult you want to be. 

This is a short list of suggestions. We all have skills that we use with students and family members that can be drawn on to create an effective working relationship with the principal.  There is a danger that in the ‘top down’ structure of most school divisions, we can lose track of our own power to influence our leader and the organization.   Good luck in claiming your power!