The key should be to get more relevant sports in the Games, sports at which Canadians excel.

Rounding up new events seems to have worked so far.
At the 1988 Winter Olympics in Calgary, Canada won a grand total of five medals, none gold. In Vancouver this year, Canada won 26 medals, 14 of them gold.

Sportscasters have used up much valuable oxygen in hailing the improved performance of Canadian athletes over the intervening 20-plus years. But, as the polling website FiveThiryEight points out, that’s not the biggest part of the tale. During the same period, the number of events at the Winter Olympics has doubled with a whole duffle bag of new sports being unveiled.

If those sports, like snowboarding events, ski-cross, curling and short track speed skating, hadn’t been added, Canada would have won 11 medals, just three gold, in Vancouver. Yes, of Canada’s 26 medals, 15 were won in sports added (along with professional hockey players) since the Calgary Games.

So, what we should be doing now is lobbying for more new sports. And there is no shortage of ideas.

A number of bloggers have suggested dog sled racing, something at which Canadians might have an edge. Unfortunately, been there, done that. Sled-dog racing was a demonstration sport at the 1932 Olympics, but never caught on.

There has also been the suggestion of family tobogganing or, as one variant of the biathlon, an event where “you a) ski, b) stop skiing, c) shoot a rabbit, d) skin the rabbit, e) cook and eat the rabbit, and then f) continue skiing.” Not a bad idea, but we would probably have to put up with commentary by Sarah Palin.

In another variation of biathlon, there could be a team pursuit, where participants shoot at each other rather than at targets. Paintball guns would be used, of course, even though such a change would most likely upset many American fans.

Another Canadian favourite suggested is pushing shopping carts (or in a variation, airport carts) through three inches of slush.
Or:

• Pushing cars with summer tires through a foot of snow.
• Football played on skates and ice.
• Windshield ice scraping (timed and judged; left hand, right hand, credit card).
• Icy sidewalk sprint; 100 and 300 metres.
• Snow volleyball; regular uniforms.
• Avalanche surfing.
• Full-contact curling.
• Snowball toss.
• 500 metre shovelling.
• Luge jumping.

Canadians would have a natural advantage in most of these disciplines and they aren’t really out of line.

After all a group that promotes “Vertical Dance”, most often known as pole dancing, added as a test sport in the 2012 Summer Games and a full sport in Brazil in 2016. Yo, Carnival on a stick.

And in summer, dressage (the fashion runway for horses) is considered and Olympic sport.

And if curling and golf (see London, 2012) can be part of the Olympics, why not the team Zamboni pull?

 

 

But what of the giant moose?
From NBC Sports:
Just as Al Michaels will always have "Do you believe in miracles?" as his signature broadcasting moment, now Bob Costas has a quote to cement his place in Winter Olympics lore. As you're no doubt aware by now, here's Costas, describing one of the displays during the games' closing ceremonies on Sunday night:

"And now the always enjoyable giant inflatable beaver."

And since this is the age of instant social networking, the the giant inflatable beaver has already attained legendary status. His own Facebook page. Countless acnowledgments on message boards. And currently the No. 10 trending subject on Twitter. There is no stopping him.

Guess luge isn’t big in Florida, either
From the Orlando Sentinal:
I’d rather watch hair curling than Olympics curling.
I am just glad the Winter Olympics are over to now American journalists can get back to covering the things that are really important to sports fans – like gun-toting NBA players and Tiger Woods’s sexual escapades.

Win some, lose some
L.A. Times
American Idol tops NBC’s Olympics for ratings gold
USA Today
Winter Olympics end American Idol ratings winning streak

Swastika, maple leaf; tomato, tomata

Quotes from a column by syndicated sports writer Gil LeBreton in Texas

• For 17 days we were barraged with Canadian flags, rode buses and trains with people in sweatshirts and jerseys adorned with Canadian maple leafs, and were serenaded at venues by Canadian spectators, lustily cheering for Canadian athletes.
• They showed us Canadian Games, all right. And in most cases, nothing but Canadian Games. I'm not talking about TV coverage. I have no idea what Bob Costas and NBC were televising back in the States. But from the opening ceremony to Sunday's closing, from the tragic death of Georgian luger Nodar Kumaritashvili to Sunday's gold-medal hockey game, on the streets of Vancouver and at the Olympic venues, only a token nod was given to the rest of the world's athletes.
• Yes, every host nation cheers lustily for its native Olympians. But never in my experience to the extent that we saw here, where the rest of the world's athletes were little more than drink coasters at the party.
• There was embracing, all right, but then Canadians have always had the reputation for drinking a lot of beer. The loose marijuana laws only added to the nightly revelry in the downtown streets -- which, frankly, seemed to have little to do with the Olympics.
• Canada wanted to hold a party, and the Canadians did. The gold medals only seemed to fuel them. Team Canada hockey jerseys became the uniform of the streets. Maple leafs were either hanging or on clothing everywhere.
• I didn't attend the '36 Olympics, but I've seen the pictures. Swastikas everywhere. No political reference is meant, just an Olympic one. What on earth were the Canadians thinking? An Olympic host is supposed to welcome the world. This one was too busy being (their word) "patriotic."
• "Now you know us, eh?" chief organizer Furlong said. We thought we did two weeks ago. Now, I'm wondering if Canadians can even recognize themselves.
• Nice party. But so 1936.

Quotes from Gil LeBreton’s publisher in Texas

• I was born in Canada and my Dutch parents were liberated by Canadian soldiers after WWII. Canada should be very proud of what its athletes accomplished in Vancouver and for the gracious, enthusiastic way it hosted the 2010 Winter Games.
• I want to personally say that I’m sorry the column appeared in my newspaper.